Podcast

Episode 2 – Becoming An “Asker” in LIfe & In Business: Mica May from May Designs

This week, Jessica visits with Mica May, the CEO of May Designs, which specializes in custom stationery, notebooks, gift items, clothing and more. Mica shares how she got her start as a “solo-preneur,” and how she moved to a team environment as an entrepreneur. For those of you who may be feeling like you have to “go it alone,” whether you’re starting a new project, business or just a life change/circumstance, Jessica and Mica lay out the benefits of looking to others for support and encouragement for all the things we’re chasing.

Mica May - Podcast Episode

TRANSCRIPT

Show Intro: Hey there, welcome to the Going Scared Podcast. I’m your host, Noonday Collection founder Jessica Honegger. Join me as I connect you to change-makers all over the world who are ready to take you by the hand and help move you through your fears toward a life of impact. Are you ready to get of the couch and choose courage instead? Then let’s dive in.

Jessica: Hey everyone. Thanks for coming back. I’m so excited for today’s episode, where I interview my friend Mica May. Mica is the founder and CEO of May Designs. May Designs is your one-stop shop for all things personalization, from stationery to notebooks to koozies to dresses. Currently, you can find them at Target. In this conversation, we talk about scaling our businesses by going from solopreneurs to entrepreneurs. I know it seems a little fashionable right now to go it alone, to forge your own path, do your own thing, but if you’re really going to build something sustainable, you just simply can’t go alone. We need others to thrive. Other people offer us the needed feedback, and they support us when things get hard. But if we’re going to do this thing together, we have to become askers. Askers aren’t afraid to put themselves out there and invite others to come along for the journey.

I know I’m giving some of you introverts the hives right now, and I’m sorry, but I hope after listening to this conversation, you’re gonna feel equipped to begin the practice of inviting others in; whether it’s into your story, into your vulnerability, or into simply helping you with your business. Give it a go.

Mica, welcome to the show. It’s so fun to have you.

Mica: It’s the best.

Jessica: Because not only are you an incredible entrepreneur, but you’re also one of my closest friends.

Mica: It’s because we’re both number sevens.

Jessica: On the Enneagram — for those of y’all — I’m definitely gonna be doing a podcast on the Enneagram. I’m gonna have everyone drinking the Kool-Aid there, but yes…

Mica: We’ve drunk it.

Jessica: We’ve drunk it. We have bonded over that. First of all, Mica, why don’t you tell all of us your story. How did you find May Designs? Tell us a little bit more about May Designs.

 

It All Started With One Little Notebook…

Mica: I accidentally started a business called May Books way back when. I started the business in ’09, and I simply started making notebooks for myself. I was a graphic and web designer first and had a little boutique agency. I was putting my husband through school, started having babies, and then accidentally started making notebooks for myself and people wanted to buy them. Things spiraled from there, and they just grew and grew.

Jessica: You said it used to be May Books. What has it evolved into?

Mica: Yeah. We started with one little notebook. It’s five by eight, kind of a paper notebook, sewn down the middle. I think I started it, too, because I love different inside pages. I feel confined by writing on lines, so I would print out graph paper, or blank, or put little quotes on the bottom of different inside pages, and then they were all stitched. The core product has remained this flagship five by eight notebook, but we started launching new things. We launched stationery sets, and at that moment, we started calling those May Notes. This was back in 2013. We launched May Notes. And we thought, "There’s a bigger vision here." We want to launch more things, and even beyond paper. So we took our core concept of essentially designing patterns for things and wanted to really hit a bunch of other verticals in the future. So, I changed the name to May Designs.

Jessica: And now you’ve evolved into fashion, into… I mean, you just got me koozies and dresses.

Mica: Yep, so we did a capsule collection this past year, and we’re gonna be tweaking and perfecting our clothing line. And again, it’s all on demand. Our model is, "We don’t make it or print it until a customer orders it.” It’s a really different model. It’s been really, really hard to make happen.

Jessica: Well, you really innovated. I mean, you’ve been on the front lines of this whole idea of personalization. I mean, I feel like it’s pretty established in the marketplace now, but when you started out, it was this whole new concept that you could design. I’ve done it. I’ve sat with my mom and with my daughter, Amelie, and we literally go to your website.

Mica: I love all the stationery Amelie makes. It’s so fun.

Jessica: It’s so cool.

Mica: It’s the best.

Jessica: You literally get to be your own graphic designer and design all of these things. You make it so easy and seamless.

Mica: Yeah, we’re trying to make it easy for anyone, whether you’re 10 or 80 to customize something that reflects your personality and makes everyday life more magical. That’s kind of what our premise is. I just found myself only looking for a tiny little black notebook. That was the only thing that was available almost 10 years ago, and I wanted something a little bit more fun and whimsical to write down my grocery list in or my client notes in. So I — just because I’m a post-it note, note-taker person — I found myself just writing because it helps me listen and learn, too. Anytime I would hop on the phone, whether it’s a client meeting or doctor notes, I just write down whatever I’m hearing. And so, that’s kind of how the whole company was born. It was just pen and paper. Eventually changed the name to May Designs. It was fun.

Jessica: I get made so much fun of at the office for how much I write on paper calendars. I have one of your books, and it’s my lifeline. And I have Outlook. I mean, I have to have Outlook for all the meetings and the craziness…

Mica: But it’s for other people. Most of my paper and calendars are for me, to think.

Jessica: Yes. Here, I get to visually look and see, "Here’s when I’m going out of town. Here’s when a birthday is." I mean…

Mica: You have to take a break from the screens. I have to. I carry around a paper notebook and a calendar because, again, when I’m planning summer vacations or weekends, I’m so visual that I need to see it.

Jessica: Yeah, make fun of me all you want, you people. You people that don’t think paper calendars are a thing. You just go get a May Book and see how it changes your life.

Mica: Exactly, exactly.

Jessica: Okay. There is this expression I’ve heard out there called solopreneur, right? It’s what we all are when we’re starting off. And at one point, we were me, myself, and I, solopreneur-ing it. But at some point, if you’re going to scale your business, if it’s not going to be a side hustle, and it’s actually gonna be how you’re going to support your family, you can’t be a solopreneur… you’ve got to grow into an entrepreneur. That involves involving other people and bringing other people along and asking other people for help. I feel like that’s something you are so good at. Where did you learn how to be an asker?

 

Growing a Spirit of Resilience

Mica: I think for me, there must be something in my personality. I remember my mom telling me about this time, I think I was probably in first grade, and I really just wanted to have some friends over — a friend, one friend, over on an afternoon to play. I hadn’t planned ahead, typical Mica, number seven, who wants all the fun but had not planned ahead of time. So she just said, "Okay. Here’s the directory." My mom has been great to really help me foster independence. Even at a young age, she gave me the directory and said, "Okay. Here’s the list of your friends in your class. Let’s start going through the list." She gave me the phone and my directory, and I literally started just calling these kids, asking their mom: "Hi. Can so-and-so come over to play? Can you put them on the phone?" The first person said, “No,” for whatever reason. I literally have zero memory of this. This is just my mom telling me.

The first person said, “No.” So I just picked up the phone and called the next person in line. Like, "Oh, well, so-and-so can’t play. Let me call Valerie next." I call her. She said, “No.” Again, I don’t remember why they said no, but I was not taking it… I wasn’t personally offended. My mom, I think by the third person, was about to round the corner. She’s listening. She’s around the corner listening. She is starting, I’m sure mama bear, to be like, "Oh no. Everyone Is rejecting my daughter for this play date." She said that I just kept going. I just kept blazing through this directory of kids in my class. I think probably the seventh or eighth person said, “Yes.” She said I just hung up the phone and bounded over the corner, and she said that I go, "Valerie’s coming over. I’m so excited." I was not even offended. I was not disheartened by the eighth or ninth or tenth person, whoever, that said, “Yes.”

I think you have to have a spirit of resilience, but that can be grown. You don’t have to have it right away. I think the more and more people you invite into your space — to talk about ideas or concepts or solving a problem — it is critical to get other people’s opinions and invite them in. And it shares the burden too, I’ve found. When something feels super, super weighty, that’s when the solo entrepreneurism is a dark and scary place. If you’re going it on your own and you’re in your own echo chamber of Instagram or Facebook or even in your own little… you can get just cycloned into information that you want to hear. That’s been what I’m trying to do: keep surrounding myself with people who are outside of my lifestyle brand and business and outside of people that might naturally just say, “Yes.”

I don’t want to surround myself with people who are just like, "Great idea, Mica. You just go for that." I do always say, "I want ‘Yes’ people. I want to surround myself with ‘Yes’ people." But that doesn’t mean that they say “Yes” to me. They are just like, "Yes, I understand that there’s an opportunity but here are the challenges that I might see. Here are some workarounds." When I am constantly going, "Find your “Yes” people; find your tribe of people who are supporting you; they’re your biggest fans," it’s not because they’re gonna say “Yes” because you’re a scary, mean, boss lady. They’re gonna say, "Yeah, I’m for you. I believe that you believe the best for your company and for your people. How can we get there? I can see some challenges in the path forward."

 

“Find your tribe of people who are supporting you; they’re your biggest fans.”

Jessica: And people that are really for you are going to give you pushback.

Mica: Yep.

Jessica: You know? If people don’t really care, then they’re just gonna be like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great idea. Go for it."

Mica: Because you know what? Saying “Yes” is really, really hard. It always creates more work in the person who says “Yes.” It just does. I think most — and I’m an eternal optimist; I believe the best in people; I trust almost everyone instinctually — but I think what I have found is the majority of the world says “No” almost out of an immediate response instead of “Yes” because “Yes” takes so much more work and gumption. Whether you are even say “Yes” to support someone, there’s a cost. There’s an emotional cost, a time cost, a value cost… even if it’s just friendships. It doesn’t have to necessarily be business, but I think when you put yourself out there, and you’re vulnerable, and you’re asking people to be invited into your space, that’s an opportunity for them to say, “Yes.” But it’s gonna…

Jessica: Cost everyone something.

Mica: Cost everyone. Yes.

Jessica: I love thinking about Mica, the little girl, who’s on phone call number eight. And then she’s just excited about her play date that day. She’s not thinking about the seven people that said “No” prior. You’re just so focused on, "I’m gonna have a play date today, and we’re gonna have fun." I feel like the reason a lot of people are afraid to be askers is because they do take the no or the response personally.

Mica: Yeah.

Jessica: And so, tell me about… has there been a time when you’ve taken a response personally? And how have you developed this resilient mindset?

Mica: Oh, man. I think anytime you work closely with people, there’s that opportunity, right? A lot of what I do, especially with vendor relationships, is managing a system that is… what do you call it? It’s not a person. It’s not a human. It’s paper. So, there’s a lot of opportunity to not engage that because they’re products. The things that I take personally are our team. We were just joking about it the past couple weeks in my office because I have such FOMO of missing out on anything. So I’ve got an office, and all the design team’s all in one, and anytime I overhear them talking about Instagram or this or this caption, or, "Oh did you see?" I’m like, "Guys." I have to take my computer in there, and I just start working alongside everybody because I want to join in. I hate missing a thing.

We were laughing that I need to instill that everyone work from home, so that Mica can come to the office and just be here by myself because I insert myself, and I get in the way. I could take that personally, when everyone’s like, "Yeah, Thursdays, please don’t bother us," because we all need to just be head down on a portion of the week. But I think our team is very much verbal processors. Or maybe just I am and so I think the rest of the team is, but it’s just very collaborative in what we do. So I think that could lend itself to me feeling like, "Oh, our team doesn’t like me." That’s not the case at all.

We’re just trying to get work done, and we all have different styles of work. Mine is to sit next to everybody and talk about all the things when it is an exercise of discipline for me to go into my office and even just use Slack to communicate with our team, who is next door, but it just becomes more efficient. It gets the job done quicker, and everyone else can stay in the zone that they’re doing instead of me blowing up whatever it is that is not necessarily on their most emergency to-do list.

 

Combatting Fear of Missing Out

Jessica: Okay. Let’s talk about FOMO because I can struggle with FOMO, too. Does FOMO feel personal to you? Is it like you just want to be invited to all of the things, and if you’re not, you feel left out? Or is it more just like you just want to be a part of all the things? How do you deal with your FOMO?

Mica: That’s a good question. I actually came and heard you speak at Shine. It was so much fun, and I loved what you talked about when you were saying that you create invitations for people. Even when you sent me the text that was like, "Hey, come to Shine." I think it was a group text, and I just thought, "She might not mean me." Even though I was clearly on this text message, something in my brain thought, "Well, she’s just excited to share." I think there is a point in all of us that feels that personal, I don’t know, whatever. Your endorphins fire and trigger when you are personally invited.

So you did a follow-up text with me, just me, and was like, "No, I really want you there. I’m excited. It would mean the world for me if you were there." And that was the moment that… I think I even had something else that day. I canceled it. I was like, "Oh. Jessica wants me there. I’m there. It’s gonna mean the world to her." Even the way you phrased it. So I think the personal invitation does feel so inviting and welcoming. It’s not that the FOMO component feels like, "Oh, I’m just left out and everyone’s having fun without me." There is that, but I think, too, it’s more how loved I feel when it is personal.

Jessica: Yes. It’s like we live in this evite invitation era, and we think that when we get an evite, that the whole database was just blasted out, even though it might not have been. That group text that you were on saying, "Could you…” — and Shine is our sales conference, for those of y’all that don’t know. We have it in Austin every year — so the group text might have been like, "Come." And I meant it just as much, but… and this is something else. I think, too, as entrepreneurs, to not be a solopreneur, we’ve got to reach out and share with our friends. We find people who might be running in our same space, and we build a relationship with these people so that we aren’t the solopreneurs, so that we can grow into that entrepreneur.

I think a lot of times, we share in our heartaches. We’ll call each other when we’re coming home from work and be like, "Ah, this happened today.” Or, “This is what’s going on with this team member, and I hate it." Or just, "The office culture’s feeling off." But I think it’s just as important to let each other know how we can celebrate our wins.

Mica: The good things, absolutely.

Jessica: For me, why I wanted you there is because I was reading my book, I was launching the cover, and I was like, "This is important, and I want you there for that." I feel like that’s something that we could do a lot better as women. I think we protect each other so much. We think, "Oh, are they gonna think I’m bragging, or that I’m not being modest, or are they gonna compare?" But we have got to be at this place where you can call me and be like, "I’m gonna be in Target next month," and I’m like, "Holy cow! That is amazing!" I want to encourage our listeners, even now, to think about how you can actually… because that’s vulnerable: to call someone up and say, "Can you celebrate this with me?"

Mica: It is. It is.

Jessica: That feels almost more vulnerable than calling and saying, "Empathize with me." Because commiserating is easy. It’s easier.

Mica: It’s easy to commiserate.

Jessica: Yeah. But it’s hard to say, "This is a big deal." It’s that foreboding joy like, "Gosh, I want someone else to share in this joy, but I have to put it out there and ask them."

 

Celebrating: A New Love Language

Mica: It’s like the false humility of… even on a birthday post. I think I saw your story, too. You were like, "It’s my birthday." And I was like, "I love that she just calls it out what it is." So many people would just, I don’t know, pretend, "Oh, it’s not my birthday." Because why? It feels weird to post that it’s your birthday? That’s insane.

I’m just like, "I’m happy I was born and I’m alive." I love celebrating everything, so everyone, let’s celebrate all the things. I think it feels the same where it’s like, "Hey, I’m not asking other people to celebrate my birthday. I am just pumped that I’m alive, and I’m celebrating." Does that make sense?

Jessica: Well, and here’s the thing. There might be some people that are like, "I don’t like to be celebrated," but that doesn’t mean that your friends don’t want to celebrate you. And that is funny because sometimes I have girlfriends that are like, "I’m not doing anything for my birthday this year. I know it’s gonna kill you, Jessica. I know that that is very hard for you, but I promise I’ve just got to work today. I’ve got a busy week." I’m like, "How can you do this to me?"

Mica: “How can we celebrate you anyway?” Yeah, yeah. I find that just gift giving and celebrating… I don’t know. I’m gonna make a new love language for celebrating.

Jessica: You do. That’s right.

Mica: It’s the best.

Jessica: Well, that’s what your company is all about.

Mica: I find so much joy in celebrating all the things. And there’s a line item in our budget for celebrations of all kinds, whether it’s our people and teams and anniversaries or birthdays, all of it. It’s like, "Oh, we hit our revenue goal. Let’s take the team to celebrate."

 

“I find so much joy in celebrating all the things.” – Mica May

Jessica: Take the team to celebrate.

Mica: Because I’m also very driven by goals, so that, to me, is just using the system and how I know I’m wired, to really push celebrations for everyone, if that makes sense.

Jessica: Totally. Yeah. Okay. I want… and this is something else that we celebrated. I don’t know, we were having lunch last week, and you were like, "Ashton Kutcher just posted about this tattoo." And I was like, "Yes, girl!"

Mica: It’s so crazy.

Jessica: First of all, Ashton Kutcher’s really cool, so I thought that was extremely awesome. Tell me the whole story.

 

Asking For Help Is Not A Sign of Weakness

Mica: Yeah. Someone screenshotted it and texted me like, "Did you see this?" I was like, "No." The Lucky Few tattoo is kind of what it’s morphed into, but basically, in October, a bunch of mamas that have kiddos with down syndrome, myself included — I have Jackson who is gonna be nine. Oh my gosh, I can’t believe he’s gonna be nine in just a couple weeks. My Jackson was my first born, born with Down Syndrome — there was a bunch of us, again, the tribe asking for help. And you talk about asking for help and not doing the solo journey of even being a mom with a kid with special needs. I’ve had to find my tribe. And I’ve moved a bunch. So I started in Dallas. We moved to Houston, and then I’m here. And I think, just with that, the online community is what has been my constant support.

So we did this retreat where a lot of online mamas that knew each other actually met in real life, which was super fun. We met in the Hill Country, and after some chats, I think it wasn’t even me, it was a couple other girls that were like, "Let’s…” We were talking about our tribe and how much it means, and someone said, "Let’s get matching tattoos." And because I am a design freak, I thought, "I’m not getting one. I want to see what it looks like." I will not tattoo my body. Not because it’s a moral principle, but it was more just my own design. I needed it to be something I would look at for forever, and I wanted it to be something meaningful.

Ironically enough, I had had this dream of these three arrows on my forearm. I probably had a recurring dream for five or six years since Jackson was born, but I never put the two and two together. And so, as I was describing this dream, I said, "You guys, the only tattoo I ever want is this weird arrows thing," and I kind of was describing it. And people just were like, "This is the design. Can you draw it on me right now? Let’s just see it." I got a Sharpie out, started sketching out what was in my dream, and everyone was either quoting scripture that talked about arrows and the meaning,  or there were three, so we’re like, Trisomy 21, for this extra 21st chromosome that creates people with down syndrome.

Anyway, it was the craziest 30 minutes because everyone just started to get onboard with it. So a group of us ended up going to get this tattoo the next morning, and we posted it online and basically just said, "Hey, for those of you that weren’t around at the retreat or couldn’t come with us to get this tattoo this morning, feel free to join in." And more and more and more people have been doing it. The Mighty, which is a content news source for all kinds of special needs parents and kids information, they picked up the story, and it’s just kind of spiraled. I think that there are in the hundreds, if not thousands, of people who have this new tattoo, which is so crazy.

Jessica: So crazy.

Mica: I think that again, it’s a really fun movement of saying, "Hey we’re not alone. We’ve got this. It’s hard. Let’s reach out for help." What the arrows mean are, there’s three of them for the Trisomy 21, and we just believe that in order to soar through the air and to fly, you’ve really got to be pulled back and stretched like an arrow, like a bow and arrow. I think that’s what these kids do, as any kids. They’ll stretch you beyond what you think you can bear.

Jessica: But I love how this really came about because you were seeking out help as you gave birth to a child that had special needs. You knew you couldn’t do it alone. I think people hear this word or this phrase “Find your tribe,” and they automatically feel rejection, or vulnerable, or “There’s not a tribe of people that would want me.” I think people don’t realize that it doesn’t just “Presto.” You don’t just wake up with a tribe. It happens because you go and ask. You go and ask for help. You go and say, "Let’s host a retreat." You say, "Let’s go get this tattoo." It really is that vulnerability of putting yourself out there that builds the community that you’re wanting to actually have in your life. It takes an ask.

Mica: And just showing up. I did not know anybody before this retreat in real life. And frankly, I felt a little bit almost FOMO from afar because I don’t post about Jackson all the time. That’s not my biggest platform of things. Jackson, I am obsessed with him. I love him dearly, and he is one of three of my kids, and kids are a part of my life. I’ve got a business. I’ve got a husband. Yes, I could go all in on only Jackson and that’s the only thing that I talk about and process, but it’s not. I talk about other things. I ended up even feeling, with engaging with this community online, like…

Jessica: I’m not doing enough.

Mica: I’m not posting enough. I don’t know if they’ll let me into the tribe because I might post about Jackson. Isn’t that ridiculous?

Jessica: We do.

Mica: It’s absolutely insane, the lies that we tell ourself before just showing up.

Jessica: Well, and sometimes we tell ourselves the stories. It took a lot of courage for you. You were telling yourself all sorts of stories…

Mica: Totally.

Jessica: But you showed up anyway.

Mica: I showed up anyway. I was vulnerable. I only had one kid with Down Syndrome. A lot of these moms had two or three. So it’s easy to almost feel inferior with whatever the circumstances are. It is just so hard to just show up. It’s so hard to be vulnerable. And I think there’s always that possibility where comparison is the thief of joy. There’s always a moment where you can say, "Oh, my goodness." It’s hard. It’s really hard having Jackson. There are moments where I am like, "I am alone." He is up in the middle of the night yet again, or he’s got behavior issues at school, and I feel like I don’t know the next right thing for him to do. I think that those are the moments where having one or two or three kids with Down Syndrome, it’s as hard for me in that moment because I’m still just me. It’s as hard as Jackson will be for me in that moment.

And to compare and say, "Oh well so-and-so has it so much harder because they’ve got two or three," there’s no way to do that.

Jessica: There’s no way. You can’t compare suffering.

Mica: You can’t compare suffering. There’s always gonna be people that are so much worse off, and that’s the reminder, that we can remind ourselves to say, "We are called to be ministers to whatever it is that we’re called to do,” whether it’s Down Syndrome or orphan care. There’s a million different things, and I think that those are the moments that if you start abandoning your call, that is where, to me, from my faith perspective, that feels weighty when I’m not doing the things I’m called to do.

 

“…that vulnerability of putting yourself out there builds the community that you’re wanting to actually have in your life.”

Jessica: That makes sense.

Jessica: Okay. So, I’m gonna wrap this up by asking you what is a fear that you’ve had lately?

 

Risk-Takers and The People Who Keep Them Grounded

Mica: Oh, man. I think that, for May Designs, especially in business, I think that because of the way that I’m wired — I’m a number seven — I love spontaneous things. I love to create new stuff, so I think one of my greatest fears is that I would be the biggest hindrance to any success or growth to the business. With me coming up with new crazy ideas and launching stuff would — because I am not necessarily a maintainer, I’m a starter. I’m the kind of person that loves to just run wild into the sunset, and someone’s kind of coming up a lot of times behind me going, "All right. Let’s clean all this up."

So I think that one of my greatest fears is that I would be, personally, the reason why my company’s not successful.

Jessica: It’s almost like you’re afraid of your own power.

Mica: Yeah. It can feel like that at times when I’m really diving in, and I’m looking at the numbers, or I’m looking at the budget. I’m looking at our sales forecasting, and our technology red map, and the product red map, and going, "I want to squeeze this all in." I’m a glutton for more. I just always want more. Let’s squeeze in a couple more initiatives for our technology this year. Let’s squeeze in a couple more product launches. And just because I’m wired that way, I’m constantly trying to protect my team from the worst versions of myself and give them my best.

Jessica: I was talking to a friend this morning, and we also are wired very similarly. He was saying that maybe you have more fear than the typical person because you’ve opened yourself up to more possibility than the typical person. When you’re not a play it safe person, it makes it look like we’re these big risk takers that aren’t afraid, but in fact we’re probably more afraid than a lot of people in the room.

Mica: Totally. I just pretend like I’m not.

Jessica: You just go anyway. Just do anyway.

Mica: And I think, too, we use this analogy all the time of building a plane while you’re already in the air on your way down. We’re just pulling pieces together. I think that’s kind of how I operate a lot is… build things on the fly. That is where I thrive. And so I think that surrounding myself with people who, again, are gonna let me walk as close to the edge of the cliff as I possibly can, but they’re there in case I accidentally slip and fall, that they can either reach out and grab me or they secretly harnessed me into a giant boulder, but I still think that I’m on my own. It’s surrounding me with people that, again, are setting up safeguards for me in my own risk assessment of myself.

 

“..surrounding myself with people who are gonna let me walk as close to the edge of the cliff as I possibly can, but they’re there in case I accidentally slip and fall…”

Jessica: Well, thanks for the chat today. I definitely have you harnessed.

Mica: Thank you. You’re the best.

Jessica: I will grip you if you ever fall.

Mica: I love you for that.

Jessica: And let’s go kick some booty.

Mica: Love it.

 

Open Yourself Up to Be an “Asker”

Jessica: Mica is such an incredible asker. I’m telling you right now, you’re never gonna be able to fully accomplish your dreams without becoming an asker yourself. But what stops us from asking? I recently asked this on Facebook, and I wanted to tell you some of the responses that I heard because I’m sure that you can relate, just like I can.

So, what keeps us from asking? I asked this on Facebook once, and I just loved hearing the responses. I think we can all relate. Here’s what many people on Facebook said. They’re afraid to ask because the perception of weakness and the thought of being a burden to someone else. Someone agreed with this. She says, "For me, it’s mainly the thought of being a burden to someone else and the perceived or real judgment I might receive from those who think I should be the stereotypical stay-at-home mom. Basically, other people’s opinions keep me from asking." "I don’t ask because I’m afraid I may be seen as incompetent or incapable." "I don’t ask because of pride and embarrassment. When the roles are reversed and someone else is asking for help, I never see it as a pride and embarrassment issue for the other person, but when it’s my turn to ask for help, pride and embarrassment pop up."

Someone else says, "For me, it’s the guilt of being able to access help, house cleaning, for example, when so many others can’t. I feel like my problems are so quote unquote ‘first world.’" "I have a problem asking because the world tells us that we are not supposed to. We are supposed to have it all together and not show weakness by asking for help. I also think we don’t want to burden others because it makes us feel needy and selfish. All of that plus pride, perfectionism, and feeling vulnerable, which can be really scary."

So, yes. Asking for help, it can be scary, but what’s the alternative? The alternative is to stay alone, to begin feeling isolated, and then to not be able to really go after your dreams. Because I am telling you right now, that other people are going to be what helps turbo charge your dreams. There is no way I could be a solopreneur. Noonday Collection involves a huge team of people, and it all started with me asking for help.

Jessica: Mica and I also talked about how not only is it important to ask or to commiserate, but it’s important to ask others to celebrate you. I’m quite sure that freaked out so many of you, but that’s what I want you to do today. Today, I want you to think about an area that exists in your life that deserves a celebration. I want you to text a friend right now or go tell your boss right now or your coworker, what’s a success that you’ve had today that is worthy of celebration.

Thanks so much for tuning in today. Thanks for Going Scared with me, and I can’t wait for our very next conversation.

Show outro: Thanks so much for joining me on the Going Scared Podcast today. if you liked what you heard with this episode, be sure and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review so other people can listen and join the conversation. If you’d like some behind the scenes looks at my life as a CEO, a mom and a courage catalyzer., be sure to follow along on Facebook, and Instagram @JessicaHonegger.  Until then, let’s take each other by the hand and keep going scared.