Podcast

Episode 3 – What’s Got Your Attention? Curt Steinhorst Brings Us Back from Distraction

Longing to be more efficient with your time AND make meaningful time for yourself, and for those you love? Today’s guest is on a mission to retrieve our minds from distraction, and to help us restore true connection in our workplaces and in our relationships. Curt Steinhorst is the CEO of Focuswise, a company whose goal is to equip people and organizations to overcome the challenges of our constantly technologically connected lives and workplaces. Curt unpacks all the issues we have with technology, including the expectations to always be “on,” battling the feeling that we’re not doing enough, and addiction to “escaping” through our phones. He lays out steps to help us reclaim what really matters, and encourages us to put technology in its place to enhance our lives; not rule it.

Curt Steinhorst - Podcast Episode

TRANSCRIPT

Show Intro: Hey there, welcome to the Going Scared Podcast. I’m your host, Noonday Collection founder Jessica Honegger. Join me as I connect you to change-makers all over the world who are ready to take you by the hand and help move you through your fears toward a life of impact. Are you ready to get of the couch and choose courage instead? Then let’s dive in.

Jessica: Welcome back to this week’s episode of Going Scared, your go-to podcast for all things social impact, entrepreneurship, and courage. I’m super excited about this week’s guest, Curt Steinhorst. Seriously, this podcast could’ve been about three hours, but since Curt’s focus is on how we can be more efficient with our time, we packed those three hours into 30 minutes just for you.

We are so distracted these days, and it can be really hard to focus on what’s most essential and what we really should be giving our attention to, and Curt is going to help us change that. He’s on a mission to rescue us from our distracted selves. Can I get an amen? He’s the author of the Amazon best-selling book Can I Have Your Attention? Inspiring Better Work Habits, Focusing Your Team, and Getting Stuff Done in the Constantly Connected Workplace.

Having spent years studying the impact of tech on human behavior, Curt founded Focuswise, a consultancy that equips organizations to overcome the distinct challenges of the constantly-connected workplace. Curt’s clients include JP Morgan, General Motors, Allstate, Honda, McDonald’s, Marriott, and even Taylor Swift’s record label, and now we can add Going Scared to that list. I can’t wait for you to give this conversation a listen.

All right, Curt. Welcome to the Going Scared podcast. Thank you so much. I have been so excited for our conversation because, really, I just want it to be a personal coaching session on how I can be more efficient and less distracted in my life because you are a genius at helping people really identify how they’re distracted and how we can become more efficient. And really, that’s what your work has focused on now is distraction, and specifically, you’re interested in what’s capturing our attention in this day and age, what’s possibly draining our productivity, and maybe even draining our souls. I wanted to start off by just hearing what got you interested in this work.

 

A Passion For Communication

Curt: Honestly, it was as simple as a personal challenge, personal struggle. I say communication, and my passion has always been in how the way we communicate, whether poorly or well, influences others and influences the way we make decision and things like that, so that’s what I studied. Then I had this chance to go from working at a big talent agency to working independently helping people with speeches, and I had this struggle, which is: I couldn’t get anything done. I was looking up at the end of the day — and I’m living the dream. I’m literally doing what I thought I would never even thought possible working with some fascinating people — and would have twelve emails open,  three Gmail chat things open, and six speeches partially written. The only problem was nothing was actually moving forward.

I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid but never had to take medication: combination of great parents and a wonderful educational experience that was willing to be flexible, and then just being put into classes that were challenging enough because actually a lot of people don’t understand that ADD is a problem with boredom more often than a problem with working too fast. All of a sudden, it just reared its ugly head. That was seven years ago, and it started personal, and then it just, I realized I was experiencing something that wasn’t just me. In fact, it was other people.

I built a team and started asking difficult and important questions. Here we are several years later, and it’s all I do all the time.

Jessica: When you think back to when you were first diagnosed with ADD and maybe when you were first starting off in your career as a speaker and you helped support other people in speech writing and delivering talks — I mean, you’ve had a very robust career — what are some of the key changes that you’ve seen that have grabbed Americans’ attention and have changed a lot of our behaviors, and our work habits, and even our interpersonal habits?

Curt: Great question. Well, at its simplest level, it is that today’s technology grants unlimited access to all of the things that we were never meant to resist, that we were never supposed to have so readily and easily available. The fact is, that we do a really good job of doing what makes us feel best at the present with the future to be delayed later. Because we only live where we are now.

 

“..today’s technology grants unlimited access to all of the things that we were never meant to resist.”

In history, when you were either going to have to stare at the ground and do nothing or actually work in the field, it was an easier choice. Over the last 10 years, I guess, is the big gap because that was the rise of this single device that had within it so many different utilities, so we have so many reasons to go back into it. But every one of those reasons, once we get there, we can be redirected. Our brain is not really meant to do that. With the rise of that, we just really created this onslaught of the ability to avoid, the ability to access, the ability to accidentally be places we don’t mean to be when we go there. I don’t even mean bad. I just mean, I went on to check Yelp, and I find myself stuck in a vortex of Facebook and Instagram.

I would say the last thing that’s made it worse, even over the last few years, is consistently, what we’re finding, we can blame tech companies because they’re making it easier, but people continue to think that what I need in order to make better decisions is more information and easier access to information. We just keep making the problem even worse because we make the barriers lower and lower and the access easier and easier and the steps fewer and fewer. The more we experience that, the more we find ourselves constantly distracted.

 

“The fact is, that we do a really good job of doing what makes us feel best at the present with the future to be delayed later.”

Jessica: Tell me more about what is really driving you because I feel like you are on the road a lot, you’re a dad of two, you really have, I feel like, a heart and passion to support people. I know you’ve really supported me in various endeavors over the years. What’s your passion? What’s your "why" behind writing this book and behind what I see is as a little pivot in your career to really making this your platform and your influence?

 

Moving Toward The LIfe For Which We Were Designed

Curt: It’s a combination of things. The biggest one, honestly, is that I saw it as such a demand. What honestly made me frustrated about the situation is that there are a lot of people that are exposing the problem, meaning that there’s a lot of noise and gloom and doom, and our iPhones are making us addicted, and we aren’t getting anything done. It’s the worst. But there really isn’t much in terms of a thoughtful conversation on a way forward.

As I started to think and make decisions about where I was wanting to head, in some sense, people’s interest in the topic drove it because that’s what people asked me to talk more about, but then on another level, it was just a desire to say, "Look, this is the biggest issue. This is the biggest issue. There is not a more critical, specific-to-this-moment, distinct issue happening in terms of the future of culture, the future of families." I know there’s a whole lot of other things that are super important, so I’m definitely a little bit biased on this, but in terms of distinct generational challenge, this relationship with technology is unlike anything anyone’s ever experienced in all of history.

We need people that care, that are thoughtful, that are honest, that have a desire to point us back to design in what we’re actually intended to be and what we’re seeking. When it came down to it, having a chance to be part of that conversation just seemed like the only option.

Jessica: Wow. That’s clarity. I mean, not many people can really receive that sort of clarity even early in their career in a way to be able to really lead and guide the conversation. I would say that your ideas on this subject almost make you a little bit of a renegade because most of us aren’t really living intentionally and aren’t necessarily thinking about how technology has crept into our lives. A lot of times, we aren’t necessarily willing to make the choices that we need to make in order to think about what is grabbing our attention that maybe isn’t worthy of our attention. I’m wondering, what is keeping you in the conversation? What changes are you seeing because of engaging in this conversation?

Curt: Great question. I would say the interesting thing about the specific space that I’m in is that I work with big companies. I would love to do more in other places, but it just happens to be most of my work is really in the organizational distraction piece. I often say that productivity isn’t personal,  and one of the interesting riddles today that I love talking to individual people about is the decisions that they’re making, and we can definitely dive into some core questions about what’s driving it and what are real ways to think differently about it. But what’s actually driving so much of the distraction is in fact not individual at all. It’s the expectations of leadership. It’s the expectations of team, its cultures and companies that have continued to buy into a mentality that responsiveness is the evidence of work, and it’s the number one responsibility someone has.

A lot of the shift that I’m hoping to make, and I’m thankfully having the chance to be in some exciting conversations around it, is how do these historic companies that guide the attention of millions of people… I mean, you’re talking about hundreds of thousands of people in an organization and the way they’re making decisions about their expectations of your being always “on” and of how much time you spend in front of an inbox. These things really do drive what happens in terms of the way we interact all the time. That’s really a lot of the place that I’m having conversations.

Jessica: You write in your book about taking these two 40-minute times a day that are just absolutely uninterrupted times. We actually had our executive offsite meeting this week, and we did a "start, stop, keep" activity, and I said, "I want to start where everyone can have two uninterrupted 40-minute times in day, to where we give each other permission.”  I spent this whole last year writing a book, and for the first time in seven years of running a startup at a crazy pace, I got to pull away. Even though writing a book is insane and it’s a lot of brain power and thoughtfulness, getting to pull away has had this trickle effect on the whole rest of my work life where I feel like I am able to bring more thoughtfulness to what I do now because I spent a couple of months doing a lot of alone thinking time.

Tell us a little bit more about some of these practicalities of how we can pull away from a life of distraction and become more intentional in our work.

Curt: Totally. In some sense, I think that your pulling away; it kind of spotlighted the value that comes from it. I think it really does have to start with, number one, a recognition and giving ourselves permission and having a key conversation with those that influence how we are able to actually be unavailable. But we have to say, "Hey, look, if my only job is to be as responsive immediately as possible, if speed is the only thing I’ve got, then I’m going to lose to automated and smart technology."

That’s what’s going to happen. Over time … speed is simply not something humans do better than others. We have to say, "Hey, look, I’m not going to hit all of the things that I need to get done. I’m going to disappoint some people. I’m going to not answer all of those messages.” The reason I am going to do that is because if I do try to answer all of them, the one thing we know for sure is that the people we care the most about will not get enough of us. The things that are most important will absolutely not get what they deserve. We have to stop and say, "Hey, this is how I’m going to change what I value. I have to make sure it aligns with where I put my attention."

That’s for one. Now, let’s just get really nuts-and-bolts practical. First, we’ve got to have the stakeholder conversation just like your team did. "Hey, we are, as a team, going to not have to be available at these times." Number two… we have to actually set up barriers that help that. I use an app called Freedom. It turns off the internet because I can’t be trusted. If I know that I want to get work done, there’s about a five-minute period where my brain is telling me that it’s going to be painful, and I could have more fun by finding something else to do, and I need to not have that available for that brief period of time because once you get into it — once you’ve reached over that barrier — we actually enter into flow where our mind has the chance to… it’s almost like moving into a darker room. It gets reoriented, and then we don’t even have to worry about whether it’s 40 minutes or two hours or 20 minutes.

Then, the last thing I’d say is we set up a ritual. Rituals are really helpful in terms of saying, "I’m going to do this every day at a certain time. I’m going to do a couple things before I do it. I’m going to do a couple things after." That ritual helps our brain to have cues to get us in that mindset.

 

Reclaiming the Things That Matter

Jessica: I just cannot agree more with you that I think so much of the reason we are constantly connected is because we’re so afraid of letting other people down, and we don’t want to disappoint people. What are some other reasons that you see that people are afraid? This podcast is all about Going Scared, and I feel like what you’re offering to people is going to involve a little bit of fear and walking through that fear to get to the other side to see the fruits of the benefit of some of these practices. But what else do you think people are afraid of, aside from letting people down?

Curt: Well, there’s several things that we’re afraid of. Actually, if it’s okay, I’d like to even step above it and start by saying that there’s actually some really even more basic reasons that we have to be honest about before we get into the things that are a little bit deeper, and the only reason I want to start there is because what’s interesting about this discussion is that most of us feel a little bit guilty, and we really do have shame associated with the way we are connecting. Just in the sense of, I know I need to spend more time in conversation with such and such. I know I need to not look at my phone when my kids are playing on the playground. I know that I’m wasting my time. We have this feeling that we’re not quite doing enough.

The problem with all of those feelings is that shame and guilt, Jessica, as you obviously talk all about, is a terrible real, long-term motivator because when we think that our behaviors are going to change based on feeling guilty about what we’re doing… there are institutions and there are even well-intentioned leaders of faith communities that believe so wholeheartedly that behaviors have to be changed, that guilt becomes the weapon that is used. But the problem is that when we feel guilt and shame about something, our brain actually runs to the fastest place that we associate pleasure to get over the guilt, which is usually whatever the easiest mechanism of that reward circuitry or the addictions that we have, basically. That’s what addiction is. It’s a need for dopamine, and so we go back to the technology.

We have to start by saying, "I’m not going to feel guilty about the fact that I actually like to check these. I’m not going to feel guilty about the fact that I keep going back." There’s a lot of really biological reasons we want to go back to our technology, but when we do it, and we allow just the basic biology to govern it, it will rob from us all of the things that matter to us.

Jessica: I was just telling my husband this morning… we were having an off week where we just were missing on communication. He tends to, we both tend to withdraw from each other. We’re not the fighters that fight it out. We withdraw and isolate. It’s been a crazy week at work. Home life, the kids were just fighting this week. I told him this morning, I was like, "Babe, I know that I was on the phone so much more this week at home." Because I have this idealized value that when I come home, I am not working, I’m not on my phone, nothing between 5:00 and 8:00. By the time the kids go to sleep, really, those are a few hours that I can completely put technology to rest. In my mind, I do that. I even tell my kids that they can hide my phone from me if they see me. They’ve even hidden it, and I’ve actually forgotten where it was once, and I was without my phone for the day.

You’re talking about the shame and the guilt because you feel, when you go do the thing that gives you that dopamine hit, but it’s not really what you need. It just perpetuates the cycle, and so it was good for me to stop and realize that this morning. I think I use technology as an escape, to escape the painfulness that my kids are fighting or to escape the painfulness that my husband and I aren’t connecting.

 

“..I use technology as an escape, to escape the painfulness that my kids are fighting or to escape the painfulness that my husband and I aren’t connecting.”

I think what’s so challenging is, it’s like technology addiction reminds me a little bit of like a food addiction. It’s not like a drug addiction where you get addicted to heroin, and it’s clearly painful, and there’s all or nothing. You just have to quit. But with technology, we can’t quit technology. It’s not a bad thing. Heroin, I think we can all agree, is probably a bad thing, but technology, just like food, is not a bad thing. You’ve gotta learn how to live with it in a way that you’re not using it and abusing it. That takes so much intentionality. I think that’s what’s really challenging is to ask ourselves some of these harder questions on why are we addicted and what is driving us.

Curt: I think what you’re saying is such a healthy and unique perspective in the conversation. I think one of the things I’ll just add in terms of the questions around addiction and technology is — this is not mine, it’s from a brilliant psychologist medical doctor named Gabor Maté — I heard him talk about the nature of addiction, and it was really helpful because he basically defines it as addiction is pleasure short-term, negative consequences in the long-term, and the inability to give it up. It’s really important to understand that it’s the negative consequences and the inability to give it up because a large percentage of what we do in life is really by design for us to go back to places that our brain has told us is good for us to go back to. Technology and our phones provide really, really easy access to that, and they have really great benefits.

If we want to use the food analogy, I think we have to be careful to set the standard when it comes to these types of things like the person who does Whole30 for 40 years. Whole30 is miserable for 30 days. I know there’s some of you that are like, "No, it’s the best thing I’ve done," but for all the rest of us that are relatively normal, we want our rocky road ice cream from time to time.

There are ways that we can be healthy with our food while still indulging at times, and there’s ways we can be healthy with our technology while still having times that we veg because we’re tired and it’s frustrating. I think it’s really important to set a realistic standard. Then once we have that, we can start asking guilt-free but honest questions about what it is that might be pushing us to it without actually getting us the things we want most. Those are only able to happen once we give up this massive gap between what we think someone should use technology for and what we actually do.

Jessica: That’s so true, like getting honest.

Curt: Yeah. That’s where it starts to get hard.

Jessica: Yeah. Man, it is hard.

 

Breaking The Hold of Technology

Curt: It is. I think one thing we talked offline about, Jessica, is what are some of those things that, if we’re really honest, are the questions we need to be asking? I think that we have to understand that we really are made to do the easiest thing at any moment. We’re made to do whatever’s easiest. The problem becomes when what is easiest becomes what is always.

I’m made to communicate and connect with people, so wait a minute, I can connect with people on Facebook. I connect with people on Instagram which gets the reward system activated, and I don’t have to actually have a conversation with my spouse that’s been probably three months overdue as we get increasingly… first, barriers come up, and then it becomes hard to even think of how would we reach these discussions. We have created a culture in our relationship that we have shortened, and we don’t have deep conversations. Now, were not bad people for that, but it’s how do we bridge that gap? That’s a hard thing. That requires a massive jumping over a really high barrier until we’re aware that it’s never going to be easy. But,  if we want to actually have what we want in the relationships that matter, those conversations are the starting point, which, by the way, also become the solution to our over-addictiveness to our technology.

Jessica: Absolutely. You’re right because when we begin finding life in the things that really matter, then technology loses its hold. The addictive nature of it loses its hold, and we realize we’re going to a well that’s ultimately going to run dry, but these relationships, especially in our marriages and our families, we’re designed to draw comfort and life from those places, not from the fakeness of what the Internet can sometimes provide, the false sense of vulnerability and the false sense of connection that the Internet can provide.

 

“…when we begin finding life in the things that really matter, then technology loses its hold.”

Now, I feel like I completely demonized technology, so let me bridge this conversation because we have a huge online community at Noonday Collection, and that’s the only way I’ve been able to grow, quite frankly, is from Instagram and Facebook. At the beginning, that’s what really launched me. Of course, now, I love… Noonday Collection is really a person-to-person business because we have this trunk show model where we don’t want to just gather people online. We want to gather people in person, and we’re storytellers, and we have seen such powerful connections happen through that.

I’m going to tell you a little bit about all the different things I’m on, the different channels I’m on, and will you help me, for a moment, to become more efficient. I do Insta stories. I do Instagram. I do Facebook live. I get a ton of text messages, and I get a lot of replies and DMs to my Instagram stories, and then I’ve got email, and then I’m doing this podcast now, and then, of course, I have the work, Slack, Internet. What are ways to organize replying to all of the text and the emails and the DMs and the Facebook messages, and then commenting on the different posts that I need to get back to? How would you recommend me to become more efficient in this area?

 

Communication With Intention

Curt: Well, in full disclosure, these are the questions that we’re wrestling with internally as far as my demands as well. I actually think that you, in particular, are at a unique moment because there’s this thing that happens for someone like you who is doing these amazing things, helping people, and has been passionate about how that works out in Noonday. What started as a few close friends, then grew and then grew but has largely been one-to-one touch for you. And what you love probably most about it is the chance to really get to know people and walk with them through life, but then at some point, you cross the threshold where that’s not possible. Then there’s this next threshold where it’s not expected. It’s hard as you’re in that transition.

This is us just talking really honestly, which I think might be helpful for people that are excited and friends with you. At some point, we have to say, "Jessica, we love you, and we want to hear from you. We want your honest perspective and your insight and the things that have made you who you are. And… we’re going to stop expecting individual attention because it’s not fair to you and your family." I just think there has to be a resetting of the rules, and then, I’ll be honest, how do you create support staff that can fill the communication expectations that aren’t actually high-touch in requiring you?

I’ll just tell you, for instance. I have an email address that I give everyone. If they need anything that is just like, "Hey, could you send me these speech notes? Could you send me this video? Could you send me this online course?" Whatever it is, book, any of that. I don’t even see it. I have staff that helps, but if it’s important, it goes in a specific place that I actually get in invest in. But if I have to answer everything that comes to me, then what happens is those that I actually want to invest in, well, guess what? They get nothing, or they get a trite answer to an important question. We use filters and have other people do those things for us. Over time, hopefully, expectations, as you grow, expectations get lower from people.

Jessica: In a way, you have to build a support staff around all of the different communication tools that you are utilizing at your business.

Curt: That’s the world we live in. We call it traffic cops for big companies. If everyone’s always available no matter what your role is, especially those that are in roles of particular thinking or large-scope or strategy, anything that involves your mind or involves effective communication. If they’re responsible for the replies as they come with no filter, then they’re simply not able to do their job. I think one of the biggest things moving forward is the question of how we utilize people in roles that fit them to make sure only the right stuff gets through.

Jessica: Einstein did not, in fact, have an iPhone.

Curt: Shocking, right?

Jessica: I mean, high-level thinking requires solitude.

Curt: That’s right.

Jessica: We have to, as leaders, make those choices and those decisions, even though it’s hard because there’s so much pulling for our time.

Curt: That’s right.

Jessica: Okay, so this is the Going Scared podcast. I want to know what you are fearing right now.

Curt: Wow. Now we gotta get real. Honestly, I think that there’s a couple things that are… by the way, I know this is what you do, but thank you for the way you give permission for this, and then now, it’s a group of people who all expect and receive honesty and vulnerability, so, just, thank you.

Jessica: Well, thanks for being vulnerable.

Curt: The first one for me, honestly, is the overwhelming number of obligations. Business and work has been great, and I’m really grateful, but with the launch of the book, it really hit a fever pitch, and the strategies that we have used to prioritize and fill my time simply don’t work as well. My schedule right now seems to be locked up to the gills. We set aside time for the family, but it’s not enough, and even more, we are filling it with things that would’ve been a no-brainer earlier, but how is that going to actually move us forward? There is actually some real anxiety around just delivering on all the promises for me right now.

The other one related to it is even more central, which is… as someone who speaks about the getting back to what’s important, the fact is that my wife is a champion. I have two really young kids that love me to death, and it’s really hard on me to be gone. It scares me too. I have fears around negative consequences of dad being gone at this age more than being the stabilizing force that they need. Those are the sources of struggle for me.

Jessica: How are you moving through that?

Curt: Lots of cussing. No, I’m kidding. Honestly, we’re having a lot of conversations right now. There’s a group discussion on board with how do we make better decisions about allocating my time. Then my wife and I have made some decisions about monthly retreats, and the next big thing I want to move towards is how do we, at what point relatively soon, do we actually shrink down the schedule to where it doesn’t matter how much comes at me. I can only do this many dates, and I can only be gone this much, and so… open dialogue.

Jessica: I imagine that’s hard for you. I’m mean, I’m a "Yes" person. I don’t like saying “No” to things, and I truly enjoy my work. It is hard, but there does come a time, especially as you’ve hit the hustle path. You’ve been on it. I tell people the beginning, "Hey, you say “Yes” to everything, and you burned 60 candles on both ends, and you just let your family know, this is the season, and we gotta be in this together.” But at some point, that’s not sustainable.

It’s nice for us to hear Curt the expert in all of this that you’re struggling too. This isn’t a once-and-done where you set up the rituals or you put in your systems, and then boom, suddenly, your focus is on all of the right things. This is something that we have to revisit continually, and it is something that really has to be done in the context of community because at the end of the day, so much of our online work, it has to do with other people. It’s connecting. It’s connecting with other people. I think having other people understand our boundaries, and then us actually setting boundaries and clearly communicating that and following through is the key to this really becoming a lifestyle.

 

“…actually setting boundaries and clearly communicating that and following through is the key to this becoming a lifestyle.”

Curt: That’s right.

Jessica: Well, thank you so much for your time. I know you have a crazy weekend ahead working and…

Curt: Oh, yeah.

Jessica: … a crazy week ahead, it sounds like, but I really appreciate this conversation. Again, I could just, I could talk for hours with you about this. I’m really proud of how you are being counter cultural, and to me, that really takes a lot of courage. I see you as someone who is raising a conversation that I think is only going to become more and more relevant, and I think you’re one of the leaders in that conversation, and so thanks for being courageous.

Curt: Wow. Thank you for the encouragement and for the friendship and for the chance to jump on and talk about these issues with the people who make up your amazing community which I have really enjoyed getting to know, by the way.

Jessica: Well, thanks. They love you. More to come. More to come. Well, thanks so much, Curt.

Curt: For sure.

 

What Has Your Attention?

Jessica: I really enjoyed my conversation with Curt and I hope you did too. You should definitely go check out his book. It’s called Can I Have Your Attention?  That’s the question that I want to ask you right now. What does have your attention? Because what we give our attention to is ultimately what’s forming and what’s shaping us.

Curt and I also talked a lot about productivity, and productivity for me; it’s an interesting word because it has its connotation of to-do lists, and efficiency, and time management. But I actually think of productivity more in terms of purpose. I think of that in terms of the question: are you channeling your unique gifts, talents, and your own voice towards living in the purpose that you were made to live and making that impact that you were made to have on this world?

I checked off a to-do list for years that was really never my to do list to check. It was filled with things that were made more out of a “should” mentality than actually out of what are my own unique gifts that I have to bring to bear on this earth. So, I want you to stop today, take a look at your to-do list. Is it a list that’s really driving productivity and the sense of just trying to get a whole lot done, or is it a list that’s matching up with your own purpose, and your unique talents and gifts?

Curt and I also talked about how we’re just kind of designed to take the easy way out. I I was definitely feeling that during my spin class this morning.  If there is an easy way out, I know, at least for me, I’m going to take it. So, it’s a lot harder to stop and be intentional and really look at the why behind what we do. It’s hard to stop and really say “what am I giving my attention to, and why am I giving my attention to that?”

I really found that out this last week when I was scrolling away endlessly on Instagram, I was answering work emails, even in the middle of dinner, which I’m totally embarrassed to admit. Whenever I do that, it’s usually a big red flag for me that I’m not feeling connected in the way that I was designed to be connected with my own family.

So, I’m happy to report that after this podcast I actually took my husband out on a date. We brought the kids along too. We went and saw The Greatest Showman; which thanks for telling me to go, because it was awesome. We went to a restaurant that we hadn’t been to in a really long time and so we just kind of got out of our own little normal zone of that home environment and and we just went and had fun together. I think just breaking up our ordinary routine and realizing I was actually giving my attention to the wrong things last week, because I wasn’t feeling the connection at home.

It takes a lot more courage and vulnerability to stop and dig into connection than it does to just start scrolling. So, think about that this week. What does have your attention? Are you putting your attention towards the things that ultimately you want to be shaped by?

Thanks so much for joining this week’s episode and I cannot wait for our next conversation. I’m having so much fun doing this podcast. I hope you’re having as much fun listening.

I’ll see you next time.

Show outro: Thanks so much for joining me on the Going Scared Podcast today. if you liked what you heard with this episode, be sure and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes and leave a review so other people can listen and join the conversation. If you’d like some behind the scenes looks at my life as a CEO, a mom and a courage catalyzer., be sure to follow along on Facebook, and Instagram @JessicaHonegger.  Until then, let’s take each other by the hand and keep going scared.