Know Thyself Series Trailer with Jessica Honegger

Jessica Honegger: Hey, there. Welcome back to Going Scared. I'm Jessica Honegger, founder of the world changing Brand Noonday Collection, and I am so glad to have you here for today's conversation. Our Going Scared community gathers here every week for direct and honest conversations that help you live a life of courage by leaving comfort and going scared.

All right, I took a break. I took a break whenever I say those words, I think of the song and Hamilton, where Eliza's singing, they're saying, Take a break, come away with us for the summer, let's go upstate. And he's like refusing to take a break. He has so much work to do. Guys, we live in a hamster wheel culture that tells us if we take a break from anything, we are going to be irrelevant and not messed and ruined, and I just refuse to buy into that lie. So thanks for being here with me today. Thanks for sticking with going scared. We are three years in and I love getting to do this podcast because I just love getting to have these really meaningful conversations because I know that they help you. So thanks for being here and this new series, I think it's probably for sure the most helpful series that we have ever put out.

It is called Know Thyself. I'm curious. I'm asking for a friend. Have you ever found yourself going through the Chick-Fil-A drive thru for soft serve and nuggets when you'd already maybe eaten dinner earlier that day? I don't know. Is that just me? What about stewing over a conversation with someone at work? Only you've been stewing for two years now and are still just having hallway conversations about it with your colleagues instead of facing the conversation head on or just asking for a friend? Have you ever blamed your spouse for something that you darn well know had nothing to do with them? This new Know Thyself series is your step by step guide to discover how to pause, observe and pivot so that you can respond to life instead of react. I think we can all relate to being reactors, especially with the stress of the last eighteen months. It is so powerful to become acquainted with yourself, to take yourself seriously, to examine yourself so that you can then have choice on how do you want to respond?

So over the next few weeks, I'm going to be sharing with you all the tools, the tests, the people who have helped me along my own journey, and you're going to walk away with this new empowered ability to step out of your experience, become an observer of your feelings and with compassionate curiosity - choose how to respond instead of react. This summer, I took my family, we traveled to Guatemala for a couple of weeks and went to go visit noonday collection artisans, which was just so special because as you all know, we have been grounded for a long time on the international front. And we had had these two glorious weeks together and we stopped in Mexico City on the way home because it's just from Guatemala City, Mexico City, really short flight. And I had never taken my family to Mexico City. And I just love Mexico City. So Mexico City is a foodie town. It is glorious and oftentimes you've got to reserve restaurants way far in advance. And we were only there for two nights, so I had to reserve these two restaurants that I was super excited about. It was Holden's birthday. He was turning 13. It was a big deal. So we had been traveling all morning from Guatemala City and we even had to. We were staying in Antigua. But then we were told that the whole country was about to go on strike. And if we didn't leave Antigua to go to Guatemala City, we were never going to make our flight out. So not only had we been traveling, but we kind of had had to disrupt our plan and go stay in kind of a dingy hotel outside the airport. And then we're traveling all day to Mexico City and then we get to the hotel. And noone had eaten all day and then we walked to dinner and we walk inside and, you know, I'm like, OK, a reservation - Honegger. And the wonderful host looks at me and says, it's for tomorrow night and my kids are hangry y’all - all day travel now walking through the city and I make these kind of mistakes a lot. I often just screw up the days of the week, the times, and I felt shame in that moment. And what do we do when we're in shame? We often go to blame, so I walk out of the restaurant. My family is waiting outside to hear what's going on. And I tell Joe - my sweet husband. I'm like, "It's the wrong night" And of course, you know, I screw this up because I'm always the one to plan all the trips I've done, all the planning, the last two weeks. And my kids are right there and I look at them and I said, Guys, I'm feeling shame right now. I am feeling shame because I made a mistake. It is not your dad's fault, but when we are in shame, we go to blame. Joe, I am sorry, but I'm so mad. I turn around. I go back into the host stand and he's like trying to problem solve. See who he can move around. At the end of the day, they accommodated us and they were able to get us in. But I just thought about how that awareness. I think in the past I would have thought, well, I'm rightfully mad. I would have blamed the host. I would have, you know, really stayed in this place of anger. But instead, I have this place of awareness understanding what shame is now, which was not even a part of my vocabulary ten years ago. Thank you, Bernie Brown. And I was able to just identify exactly what was happening and then make a repair. So self-awareness makes room for repairs. It makes room for you to become aware so that you can choose your impact and even if you have a bad impact because I still chose the blame. I was able to be really honest about that. And just in humility, you know, say, please forgive me, I am so sorry. So self-awareness helps us show up in a more positive way so we can become peacemakers in our community. Another way that self-awareness has really helped me is in owning actually the things I'm good at and owning my gifts.

I did my first 360 feedback several years ago, and I've talked about that on this podcast, and it's basically a time where different people that worked for me with me were interviewed and were asked how they experienced me when it came time for my executive coach to deliver that feedback, I actually had a really hard time receiving the positive feedback. My coach shared that others talked at length about my passion and enthusiasm, that I inspire others towards action. And I responded to her with a giant eye roll and I was like, "Oh, great, so I'm just like this positive, encouraging cheerleader". And at the time, that isn't what fit my description of a successful CEO. You know, I think I wanted people to say she's so strategic and she makes the best decisions and she leads well. Instead, it was just like, she's so positive! But my perspective changed a few months later when I met Linda and I was at an executive leadership conference at Harvard, and we had so many impressive professors during those few days. But Linda Applegate was my favorite. I think she was about in her 70s, but she had the energy of a 20 year old, and she would jump around the classroom the entire time she taught - she'd run up the stairs so she could be right by the person she just called upon to answer her question, and she inspired me to believe that what I did mattered. And I don't even remember exactly the content, but I just remember how I felt in her presence. She lifted the entire room with her energy, and one day I was going to bathroom was coming back in and I just wanted to say to her like, Oh my gosh, like, you're one of the most amazing people. And I walked up to her and I kind of stammered, Thank you so much. You were so passionate and enthusiastic...did you get that? That's when it hit me. I had just thanked her for something that other people thank me for, that other people see and me. And then I began to wonder, maybe people experience me in the way I'm experiencing her, which is pretty amazing. And I realize up until that moment, I had diminished some of these gifts that I have to convey vision and to get other people excited. And I think especially raising teenagers, you know, I mean, it's kind of brutal guys like that enthusiasm is not met with mutual enthusiasm. And so I just think that at that point, I began to embrace my passion. I embraced my enthusiasm. And as I did that, I noticed I wasn't dwelling as much on those doubts or spending energy, shoring up all of my perceived weaknesses. And that's something else we're going to talk about on this podcast episode is the strength finder. So not only does awareness help us to understand how other people are experiencing us so that we can show up having a more positive peacemaking impact, but it also helps us own our gifts and own our talents and really live into that instead of walking in that self-doubt.

So this is just going to be an incredible series, and I think so appropriate for this moment as well, because when we travel through life, addicted to anxiety - are prone to paralysis. We become reactors instead of responders and eventually those coping mechanisms of showing up at Chick-Fil-A, chatting with our coworker instead of having the harder conversation, those coping mechanisms eventually fail us. And so making sense of our stories helps us to become a healing presence in the world. We can become peacemakers in our homes, our workplaces, in our neighborhood, and maybe even in the whole freakin world, which is y'all know that's what I am such a believer in here at Noonday Collection. So join me here. Every week you're going to get to hear from Kurt Thompson, Dr. Dan Siegel, Shauna Niequist, along with experts in the Annie Graham Myers-Briggs, DISC, Strengths Finder, and so much more. I'm also going to have a special resource sheet where we're going to break down a lot of these tools and resources for you with all the links to take all the tests that have helped me. So make sure you sign up for my email list and you can go to my website. Jessica Honegger - 2 g's one n- at my web site. You can sign up there. There's also a link on Instagram. If you click on my bio, you can sign up for my emails there. So basically, this is going to be awesome. I can't wait. And though I was gone, I was gone, but now I'm back! So I need you to spread the word. And this is an episode just to help you do just that. Let everyone know Jess is back and we are here for an amazing journey on how we can become more self-aware and know ourselves. Today's music is by Ellie Holcomb and I'm Jessica Honegger, until next time, let's take each other by the hand and keep going scared.